I haven't been blogging much lately. There hasn't been a lot of space in my head for writing, which is a strange thing for me to say, since I really can't think of a time in my life that I haven't been one who would rather stop breathing than stop writing.
Part of it has been the tendonitis in my wrist. Even with the cool wrist brace that helps keep me from twisting my wrist in a wrong way, my wrist starts aching if I type too long. Even if I write longhand too much. I'm thinking I'll have to return to the hand doctor and get the other two tendons shot up with the steroid stuff. She did the main tendon and told me that it didn't get better I might have to return for the two others affected. I don't wannaaaaaa go. (whine.)
Part of it has been the Headache that has taken up residence in my son's skull. I don't feel like writing about the survival we've been doing for weeks now. (16 days of headache. But! maybe. MAYBE. Maybe the antibiotic is working. Keep praying. We are.)
And the rest? is that I'm deciding if having this space is good for me, or not so good. As I said earlier, I am trying to take better care of myself this year. Maybe a better way to put it would be: I'm trying to be more intentional about self-care. I have been coming much closer to breaking this year than I have in years. I don't want to break.
I want to thrive, not just survive.
I want to grow, not shelter in place.
I want to LIVE my life, not just keep circling the wagons trying to keep things together.
So now what do I do?
Is writing here something that will help me?
I don't know.
Meanwhile, I am going to do something I haven't done in years, and I'm going away for a weekend with friends - to a women's conference, where I hope to rest, relax, restore. I think it's a great step in taking care of me.
So I'm not here right now. Leave a message :-).